Family dynamics and communication styles play a large role in how these talks will proceed. If lines of communication were never transparent in a family, it’s likely that approaching an aging parent will be more challenging. Moving, money, health, and driving are commonly the trickiest topics to discuss with older adults (D’Aprix, 2010). This is due to the fact that, often, the parent is concerned about losing autonomy and shifting into a more dependent role. For decades, they’ve been the ones in charge of their own finances, home, and lifestyle, and often see no reason to cede control to their children. Adult children, however, may be worried about their parents’ safety and wellbeing, yet be uncomfortable transitioning to a caregiving role.
While broaching the tough topics with aging parents may be challenging, there are some methods that can help. Talking to parents before a health setback or other crisis occurs is paramount. Choose a calm, quiet, appropriate time and place to start a dialogue, and gauge if both you and your parent is in a relaxed mindset to have a discussion. These talks don’t have to be drawn out; twenty minutes is fine. Be sure to continue to keep talking at regular intervals. To avoid a power struggle, make the goal of the talks clear: maximizing the independence of the aging parent (Edmonds, 2012). The safer, healthier, and more financially organized the parent is, the longer the parent will be able to maintain the maximum autonomy. You, as the adult child, are there to assist and support this goal as long as safely feasible.
D’Aprix, A. (2010, November 17). Challenges of communication between older adults [Video file]. Retrieved from http://www.youtube.com /watch?v=b1sLvrTlaUo
Edmonds, D.S. (2006-2012). Talk to elderly parents about the future. Retrieved July 25, 2012, from http://www.talk-early-talk-often.com/talk-to-elderly.html