I was recently contacted by the moderator of LoveEvolveandThrive.com to write about how to attract healthy love. Many therapists, counselors and coaches contributed, and you can find my take on the subject by scrolling down to entry #18. In it, I write about Challenging Your Fears of Showing Your True Self as a gateway to attracting a healthy relationship. To read the article, click here. Let me know your thoughts and what has worked for you!
Do you ever find yourself awash on a sea of emotions? Does it ever seem like your feelings are taking over, and that you are not in control? Many of us have the experience, from time to time, of being caught up in an uncomfortable mood and not sure what to do about it. We can find ourselves doing mental gymnastics trying hard to feel better and heaping on self-criticism in an attempt to “just snap out of it.”
Earlier this week, I found myself in what I’d call a “blue mood.” There wasn’t anything tangible that was wrong, per se, but I noticed that I had dipped a bit below my comfortable baseline of contentment. Once I realized what was going on internally, I was able to step back and take an observer’s view. In my head, it sounded something like this: “Ah, it looks like I’m a bit down. I wonder what that’s about. I know that I won’t stay in this emotional place forever, but I’m here now, and that’s okay.” I recognized the feeling, my internal thoughts about the feeling and accepted that it’s where I was at that moment. I didn’t try to flee from the emotion; it was a tolerable one. The paradox is, of course, that it soon dissipated once I did the work of acknowledging it. This may sound counterintuitive. Just noticing and letting it be, it actually provides a return to equilibrium? The answer, more often than not, is yes. What’s been your experience with noticing and acknowledging your moods?
Marnee Reiley is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist working with couples and adults in Irvine, Orange County, California.